Monday, August 21, 2006

don't go with the flow

This time of year has become a time of mixed feelings. I am happy that we are not a part of the "back-to-school" frenzy. I am looking forward to going to the beach after Labor Day with the boys and savoring the outdoors of September. I feel fortunate to not have the anxiety of a new school year ahead of us. I am glad. Really glad.

But....there is this other part of me that feels a little left out. Its as if there is something exciting going on, and we are missing it. I suppose that is true, too. This is the trade-off of homeschooling to me. Along with the freedoms and joy, there are pangs of isolation, especially in September. The boys don't seem to notice. I think it is a part of the rythym of my life for so long. September is my reminder that I have changed rythyms.

Deciding not to enroll the boys in school is a new commitment every year even though my philosophy is that learning is a natural, ever-evolving process. I hope that as years pass, this seed of doubt...this fear of being different...this pesky little knot...just dissolves.

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