Wordless Wednesday

Friday Fill-Ins

1. My car is a van and is treated like an addition to our small home.

2. Apple-picking is coming up next.

3. Lately, things seem calmer and more balanced. Just the way I like it.

4. The beach is one of my favorite 'hiding' places.

5. What happened to people seeing the world as the place to explore and discover, grow and learn and not just what you go out and see if you have time.

6. Restoring balance after a busy summer is not impossible!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to the observatory at the science museum and seeing the Omni film "Antarctica", tomorrow my plans include throwing a birthday bash for my "little" boy and Sunday, I want to have the grandparents over for lobster and watch my boy play soccer!

Goodbye Mary

Wordless Wednesday

Learn Nothing!!!

Shutter the windows! Turn off your television! Shut down your computer!! Put away those video games! Don't answer the phone!! Remove all reading material from your home! And for God's sake don't GO ANYWHERE! Don't speak OR listen, and by all means stay away from neighbors and friends!!

Or else you're doomed. Because today is:
Relax....Enjoy....

Wordless Wednesday

I Got Sunshine

"Somehow or other...it came, just the same." Dr. Seuss

I'm so glad for the sunshine and spring warmth today. I raked out my garden,and saw all the perennial sprouts waiting there to say hello. Ahhhhhh!!!! The basketball is banging on the driveway again, and the baseball gloves are cluttering the kitchen. 'Tis the season to be jolly!

Catching Up blah,blah, blah

It's been a while since I just sat down to write some thoughts here. I didn't used to care much who all read here or what he or she thought, but then that started to get in my way. I started visiting my favorite blogs, and then they started visiting mine sometimes (how nice!) and then I got all nervous. Silly, I know, but there it is. Becoming too self-conscious took away my flow, and I didn't like how that felt. I'd start to write, then I'd read it, and it didn't even sound like me. So, I left it. Gave myself more space from it and have tried to regain my perspective about it. So...here I go again...

We made a trip to Washington, DC a couple of weeks ago. I went to go see the glowing golden aura that I knew would be surrounding the White House, and sure enough, I saw it! Truly! I was a little surprised that the whole city wasn't levitating. Such a load off...But then we witnessed some weighty AIG discussions at the US Capitol (cool tour), and my bubble burst, remembering the pile of #@*& that was left behind to shovel out. The boys were wonderful travellers, and an unschooling mindset came in very handy when it was time to plan the day. They reminded me that going back to swim in the pool was way more interesting than going to see "one more exhibit." But they also trusted us to lead them around and show them the sights. Being there with them was such a kick, and we have loads of pictures and memories to share.

I lost a cousin. She died while we were away and I attended her funeral shortly after we returned. She was 50, married, with a teen son. Her legacy is one of simple, consistent giving to those around her. She was obviously grateful for every day, living with a delicate heart condition since birth, and she took the time to do and say the things that are often left undone and unsaid because we second-guess their importance, or because we think we'll have another chance. So I will try to honor her spirit by being more openly thoughtful, by saying the kind words rather than just thinking them, and by baking more cookies for my boys.

Nathan cut his long hair when we got back from vacation which made me feel both relieved and saddened. He said he just felt relieved. He loved the length, but hated to care for it...so it's not short-short...but he's got some bangs and his face is newly revealed to us again which I love.

Today we stayed home and watched LOTR and there were sword fights in the yard afterwards. Tomorrow we are headed into Boston for a kid-friendly presentation by the Boston Symphony Orchestra. It's supposed to rain, so we'll drive in, and maybe we'll catch a bite before heading back to our safe, dry home.

Feeling lucky and happy and myself.

Where I'm From

I read the poem first at Sandra's blog, then got the template to do my own.

Where I'm From

I am from black-and-white portable TV sets, from Jiffy Pop and Volkswagon.

I am from the house in the woods with the long driveway, littered with pineneedles, shag-carpeted, the smell of a wood stove.

I am from the beach grass and the tall white pines, wild lady slippers, Dad's tomato plants and autumn leaf piles.

I am from daily trips to the sea and blue eyes, from Smith and Scrivener and Christobel.

I am from the cold ocean swims and long vacation drives.

From "be a nice person to everybody" and "don't waste half the day sleeping."

I am from it's not what you believe, it's how you live. Sunday school on a farm with a pottery wheel and finger paints.

I'm from Massachusetts, Old England, and Germany, clam chowder and mince pie.

From the news reporter who woke his children in the middle of the night to go see the big fire, the distracted artist who couldn't find herself, the young boy who hid from a spanking in the garden shed, delighted that his father couldn't find him.

I am from a Martha's Vineyard attic, a grandfather's basement workshop full of wonderous junk, old albums at Mom's house full of Polaroid glimpses, snapshots of happiness, gatherings and childhood well lived.

Happy 200th Chuck!! AND ABE!!

Oh Yeah!!! You too, Abe!!!! What a coincidence!

Wordless Wednesday

Just so you know...we let him go right after the photo.

Hibernating...from the gym

I'm afraid it's time for me to face the facts. There is three feet of snow outside of my house. It was about 5 degrees today. Right now it is 11. Degrees. I have not been getting myself out to exercise and using the dark cold snowy winter as an excuse to do nothing. I do try to embrace winter, but it has beat me this year. I gave up on my routines, and it's hard to feel motivated to get them back when I pretty much see this out the window every day....

I'm sorry Barack..."No, I can't."


But the jeans are getting tight....





It's time to become re-acquainted with my old friend....Ouch.
Or else I'm going to have to settle for a very fetching beach mumu in a few months.

Oy. Do they come in navy blue?

Healing at Home

I have been worrying about my Dad, and have gone back and forth to my parents' house this past week about an hour away. Dad found out that he had prostate cancer just before Christmas, and the decision was made to remove it all. He was very scared to have the operation as he has enjoyed a very healthy 74 years so far, despite previous smoking and drinking habits, and he was inexperienced with hospital stays and procedures. Plus, it's just plain scary.

I went down to drive him home from the hospital in the middle of a nasty snowstorm, determined to get him home to the comfort and quiet of his own bed. I stayed for two days and watched my parents manage this crisis in the matter-of-fact way that is their custom...but also with great tenderness and with the ease of their familiarity and trust. He let my mom help him, and she was respectful and kind to him. I did dishes, laundry, filled bird feeders, shoveled snow, cooked a bit, and stayed up late with my mom. I really did very little, but I felt that I was where I belonged.

When I was growing up, my parents both worked full time and there was not much time for family connection time or even affection. There was always a sense of deep dedication and a maybe false, but very real sense of permanaence as I look back, mostly thanks to my mom. The foundation shifted from time to time, but it didn't crumble. Now that there is the time and the need for affection, it is there. I find myself realizing it is never too late to show affection or to be more verbal about feelings. We realize how precious our time together is in a way we didn't before. I know my dad regrets not being more present for us as kids, but I also know that what he gave us then, and certainly what he offers now, is much more than he could have ever wished for from his own folks. He thanked me a lot for helping and told me that he thought I was a good mom; that he loved my kids and my husband. I'm glad he is still here to say such things, and I feel lucky to hear them. I can feel how important it is, and it reminds me of how powerful my own words can be to my kids.

My dad's healing heals me too.

All one can do is to achieve nakedness,
to be what one is with all one's faculties and perceptions,
strengthened by all the skill which one can acquire,

And then to stand before the judgement of time.

Stephen Spender

On a Mountaintop

I was choked up and moved by the inauguration ceremony. I couldn't get enough of the minutiae reporting. How far had people walked? What did Michelle give to Laura? Where was everybody from? Gloves or mittens? I loved all of it. But best of all, was watching our new president proudly take office at a time of such discord and strife, with true hope and a call to duty in his heart and in his words. I feel very honored to be an American today.

Happy New Era!!

Happy Birthday, Martin...wish you were here

This speech, his last speech, gives me chills every time I hear it. The power of Dr. King and the righteousness of his message still resonates. Tuesday's inauguration is a testament to his memory, and to all those he inspired; those who made sacrifices, large and small, in order to do the right thing.

Lumos!!

My middle boy is now ten. He is thrilled and happy to be ten. Happy to be on his way in the world, getting older and bigger. He notices that he can leap to the chin-up bar and his feet barely graze the floor now. Almost like his older brother.

He can leap farther across his bedroom almost to his brother's bed and he measures up to the bottom of my chin, his hand moving from the top of his blond head to my chest. He is loving and very forgiving, and he just sang a season of Christmas carols for us while he played piano.

This past year, he grew his hair out long until it went past his shoulders...like his older brother. Then, he recently decided to cut it short and he was glad to make the decision. He was happy to be free of the hair. Today, my mom gave him a lovely pure white stone that she found on the beach. She said that when she saw it, she knew he should have it. It is smooth and bright and softened. He loves it.

I am watching him get older before my eyes, and I miss the littler boy he once was.

I try not to dwell on that too much, though, because soon I will miss now, too.

Happy New Year

I found this in my inbox today and thought I'd share it here. May everyone have a fulfilling 2009.

And remember...21 more days until the best President evah!!

December 31, 2008
New Year's Resolutions: The Two Lists
A Message from DailyOM Co-Founder Scott Blum

I was fortunate to spend time with an enigmatic man named Robert during a very special period of my life. Robert taught me many things during our days together, and this time of year reminds me of one particular interaction we had.

"Now that you are becoming more aware," Robert said, "you need to begin to set goals for yourself so you don't lose the momentum you have built."

"Like New Year's resolutions?" I asked.

"That's an interesting idea," he smirked. "Let's do that."

By then I was used to his cryptic responses, so I knew something was up because of the way his eyes sparkled as he let out an impish laugh.

"Tonight's assignment is to make two lists," Robert continued. "The first is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WANT to keep, and the second is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WILL keep. Write the WANT List first, and when you have exhausted all of your ideas, then write the second list on another sheet of paper."

That night I went home and spent several hours working on the two lists. The WANT List felt overwhelming at first, but after a while I got into writing all the things I had always wanted to do if the burdens of life hadn't gotten in the way. After nearly an hour, the list swelled to fill the entire page and contained nearly all of my ideas of an ideal life. The second list was much easier, and I was able to quickly commit ten practical resolutions that I felt would be both realistic and helpful.

The next day, I met Robert in front of the local food Co-op, where we seemed to have most of our enlightening conversations. "Tell me about your two lists," Robert said as the familiar smirk crept onto his face.

"The first list contains all the things I SHOULD do if I completely changed my life to be the person I always wanted to be. And the second list contains all the things I COULD do by accepting my current life, and taking realistic steps towards the life I want to lead."

"Let me see the second list," he said.

I handed him the second list, and without even looking at it, he ripped the paper into tiny pieces and threw it in the nearby garbage can. His disregard for the effort I had put into the list annoyed me at first, but after I calmed down I began to think about the first list in a different light. In my heart, I knew the second list was a cop out, and the first list was the only one that really mattered.

"And now, the first list." Robert bowed his head and held out both of his hands.

I purposefully handed him the first list and held his gaze for several seconds, waiting for him to begin reading the page. After an unusually long silence, he began to crumple the paper into a ball and once again tossed it into the can without looking at it.

"What did you do that for?!" I couldn't hide my anger any longer.

Robert began to speak in a quiet and assured voice. "What you SHOULD or COULD do with your life no longer matters. The only thing that matters, from this day forward, is what you MUST do."

He then drew a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to me.

I opened it carefully, and found a single word floating in the middle of the white page:

"Love."

A Big City Holiday

I do enjoy Christmas, but I am glad for the day after, when things can settle down freshly. While shopping and preparing for the holidays, my oldest went on a big adventure to New York City. He has two very generous and loving aunts (hubby's sisters) who live in Brooklyn, and they invited him to come visit for a couple of days. He and one of his aunts took the train to Boston from the bottom of our street, then the subway, then the Amtrak to NYC, travelling door-to-door without a car. This was his first journey away from home, and he was not nervous or frightened or worried... he seemed so ready. I realized after he walked out the door, that this was a benchmark moment for us as a family...for me as a mom. One of many more to come, but one that I really noticed. I felt a clear tug of letting go as he headed out the door with his bag and a smile, looking forward to his adventure. I was glad for him, and I knew he would be with people who loved him.

He loved the train ride, watching a movie, visiting the snack car,and watching a snowy New England whiz by the window.The snow fell on the way in to Penn Station, and they started with a snowball fight in the evening in Central Park.

They went to the Met and saw an exhibit on arms and armor. His aunt said he was fascinated and talked much about what he knew, and what he noticed. They ate at a Middle-Eastern restaurant, they watched High Noon and Rear Window. They went to Rockefeller Center and saw the big tree. He was not impressed when they cleared the famous ice rink there, so that a man could propose marriage; rather he was disappointed that they were not bringing out the Zamboni instead.

They took him to Times Square where he said he felt really small, and amazed by all the lights. He went to Greenwich Village to go to a gaming store he had looked up before he left. They went out for pancakes and pizza and bagels. They watched Elf. When we spoke on the phone I mentioned that I missed him. He said, "Well, I would miss you too, but I'm having too much fun!"

Some of the best pictures are from the NYC Transit Museum where you could pretend to drive a bus and run over your aunt...They took some very funny videos of each other trying to sell tokens and give directions from the pretend ticket booth. A snowstorm made travel difficult, so he stayed an extra day and they took him on the Staten Island Ferry, which turned out to be his favorite part. He was in awe of the Statue of Liberty, having seen so many pictures of it, and his aunt said he stared out the window quietly at it for a long time.

My first boy arrived home a couple of days before Christmas with lots of stories and funny moments and a gigantic hug for us all. In most of the photos he looks genuinely happy, reveling in the fun of exploring a new place away from home. I am glad that he felt secure enough to leave us, remembering the littler boy who never wanted to leave my side, even at the playground.

To sweeten the deal, my awesome mother-in-law very graciously took the other two boys overnight, leaving my husband and I with any empty house and a snowstorm outside...

Wordless Wednesday

Ramblings and a Christmas Meme

Today was a lazy day at home during a cold, rainy afternoon. We had planned to go to the YMCA for some open gym time, but the momentum wasn't there. We watched Wind in the Willows on DVD, layed about, and the boys played some pretend Star Wars games upstairs while I did some baking.

A few days ago I found a Lord of the Rings Monopoly game at a thrift store for $4 with all the pieces and cards intact. I felt like I struck gold! It was fun to lay it out on the table and have them find it there. After playing it through once by the rules, they brought out more toy figures and made up other games and stories with the board. My oldest was more patient than usual with my youngest while they played and while there were some tense moments, they did okay. I find that it is easier if I remain on the outskirts for support rather than playing, as they all tend to be very sensitive to my advancing at their expense in any way. The dynamic just doesn't work right now.

When the weather is cold and rainy, I sometimes get antsy for outdoor time, but it's early yet, and I find I am enjoying the slower pace of indoor time. The time for quiet and blankets. Movies, board games, baking, and the sound of three boys stomping through our house, using every inch of it. We are enjoying the lead-in time to Christmas, anticipating gifts, hiding surprises, and decorating. The boys love their advent calendars with the daily chocolates. We have paper snowflakes on the windows made by the middle boy and me.

This is a Christmas meme I found over at Frank's blog. Take it and run with it if you like.


1. Real tree or artificial? Real. I enjoy the ritual of picking out the tree at a local place with the kiddos. Many memories of my Yankee Dad fretting about how much water the tree was drinking or not, as an indication of how fresh it was and ultimately, the quality of the deal he got on the tree.


2. When do you put up the tree? Earlier and earlier it seems as the kids have gotten a bit older and its more fun to have it up.

3. When do you take down the tree? After New Year's. Our town has a bonfire of spent Christmas trees on the Epiphany (Jan.6th). I'll try to blog photos of it this year. Nice big blazing fire!!

4.Wrapping paper or gift bags? Mostly paper, but gift bags are very alluring. Pop it in and you're done. Santa uses different wraps than I do. I did use Trader Joe's re-usable bags last year for some gifts. They are festive and red.

5. When do you start Christmas shopping?I am always looking for cool things that the kids like. I have a hard time waiting to give them things that I get in August or September. I really can't wait that long. So, I start restraining myself and saving Christmas gifts in November.

6. Who is the hardest person to buy for? My husband and my Dad.


7. Easiest person to buy for? My Mom. She likes everything, and she likes to be surprised. It's like giving a gift to a little kid. As much as she gives, she is also a wonderful receiver.

8. Angel on top of the tree, or star? A pretty tin star.


9. What is the worst Christmas gift you ever got? Anti-wrinkle cream. Yes, really.


10. What is the best gift you received as a child? When I was very little, I got a baby doll that I loved and (s)mothered. I was also very fond of a pink velour sweatsuit I got when I was seven. A little older, and I remember tickets to an ice show that was magical and special to me.


11. What is your favorite food to eat at Christmas time? Church window cookies made by my MIL.


12. What do you want for Christmas this year?(Frank's answer, which I love): I want the Constitution back! I think I might even get it, starting after January 20th. I can never have enough warm, fuzzy socks either.